I don't have a daughter...yet. We are hoping the child in my tummy is a girl, so we'll have one of each.
My grandma is in the hospital. I saw her yesterday and I am still upset that I had to leave. Was that my last visit with her? Half an hour? I put chapstick on her lips and helped her get a drink of water. And I got Gabe to kiss her face. I wanted to do more.
My mom has cancer. This was my time to see her without her hair. She wasn't feeling well because of her recent chemo treatment. Her prognosis is good, but I know she's having thoughts about her own life, wondering how much longer she has, how many more times she'll see her grandson...I would be if I were in her shoes.
So, I'm thinking of how I will remember my grandma and my mom. And I am thinking of how I want my children to remember me. As much as I have control over it, I want to remember to leave a lasting impression on them that will give them a fondness for me and not a sense frustration or bitterness. It seems like no matter what kind of parents anyone has, there are hurts from their relationship in the past. How do I minimize those?
I got to see my mom's husband's mother this weekend, too. I heard about how her kids had taken her out to eat more than once in the past week, given her a gate for her front porch so the grandkids didn't fall down the stair, and built a little bridge in her front yard so she doesn't stumble trying to step over the small creek that runs through it. You can tell how much her children respect her and would do anything to help her. They rise up again and again and call her blessed.
I have to much work to do in my life to be that kind of mother and grandmother.